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In our life long education persuit, we emphasize Social & Interpersonal Skills as top skill to possess to deal with fellow humans in all aspects of life.  Many A’s in school exams or a university degree does ensure success in the economic world, you must also possess these 2 skills. 

Hence Hiring Professionals normally look for following attributes in candidates or what are termed Quintessential Skills QSkill:

  • Communication skills (oral and written)givetake
  • Teamwork/group/interpersonal skills
  • Leadership skills
  • Work-ethic traits: drive, stamina, effort, self-motivation, diligence, ambition,
  • initiative, reliability, positive attitude toward work
  • Logic, intelligence, proficiency in field of study


The foundation to acquire QSkill is Social Skills which is defined as: any skill facilitating positive interaction and communication with others.  The process of learning these skills is called Socialization & is underlined with clear, calm & respectful communication.


It is so important that we must start it at Home and at Pre School eg Kindergarten. Here we develop positive & healthy emotion which in turn influences mental health and wellbeing.  It exhibits in all relationships, both verbal & nonverbal ways; with families, caregivers, peers and early teachers.


Let’s see what Good Human Values are essential for Social Skills. Train your kid to use right phrases & wording, the verbal tools to master the skill. Also create opportunities & activities to help develop this skill eg social outing / Show & Tell.

Consider Others



Be a Open Listener


Be Responsible


Respect & Be Friendly


Be in Control


Be Confident - feel good


Use Kind Words  (not angry actions)

word action

  • Be claim and speak nicely
  • Learn to Negotiate and Compromise

What is Interpersonal Communication?

Interpersonal communication IC is defined as the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face communication.  Hence it comes with some jargons: Communicator, Message, Noise, Feedback, Context and Channels.

The foundation for good CI communication is your values and habits ingrained in your Social Skills from childhood

Good Social Skills will ensure good interpersonal Communication.

However there is one important point in IC which need to be highlighted.  The point is, IC is not just about what is actually said - the language used - but how it is said and the non-verbal messages sent through tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures and body language.

My favorite "It is not what you say but what you MEAN."

Hence following are some images & a positive & negative body language checklist to raise your awareness in this subject.

Positive Body Language

  • Keep head up with high Eye Contact to show interest
  • Keep a relaxed or comfortable Posture, straight back (not stiff) whether you are sitting or standing.
  • Let your body take up space to express confidence & being at ease.
  • Lean slightly forward when listening shows interest.
  • Hang arms comfortably at your side or bring hands together in your lap to show openness to the communication.
  • Talk with optimal hand gestures to appear credible and assuring.
  • Nod your head or smile to show agreement & empathy.
  • Slow down your speech and body with pause to appear confident & in contemplation.
  • Take notes to show you value what they say & is engaging in the conversation
  • Give firm handshake for credibility.

Negative Body Signals

  • Poor / Negative stance or posture that block communication & shows no interest eg crossed arms.
  • No Eye Contact shows no interest, something to  hide and not sincere.
  • Space not used shows uncomfortable with environment and lack direction.
  • In appropriate facial emotions eg nervousness, sadness, sympathy, discontent, or anger

  • Not using any hand gestures or using weak or unproductive gestures eg over use.

  • Response negatively to the communication.
  • No command in whatever objects you use in the presentation.

The bottom line:

Whatever you mean comes from what is in your head.  Whatever skills you learn can help but if your Values are wrong, the negativity will come out.

Do note that  person with inherent Interpersonal Intelligence (6th) can sense others  even if you say or do nothing. 


Click here my favorite Chinese sayings to see how they can help to bring out the Best Values in you.

Theory of Multiple Intelligence

According Howard Gardner 1983 "Frames of Mind" there are 7 types of intelligences.

  1. Verbal-linguistic
  2. Logical-mathematical
  3. Visual-spatial
  4. Musical-rhythmic and harmonic
  5. Bodily-kinesthetic
  6. Interpersonal (Others)
  7. Intrapersonal (Self)


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